Whether you live a state away or just across town, it’s never easy to witness your parents age. It can be challenging to know when it’s time to intervene or have a conversation, but there will likely come a time when it becomes more clear that mom or dad probably shouldn’t live alone anymore.

What should you be looking out for, though? Here are seven tell-tale signs it may be time to consider assisted living for your aging parent.

1 – Unkempt home

Keeping a clean home takes both desire and mobility. If mom or dad begins to lose either one, it’s important to pay attention. Maybe you start to notice dirty dishes piling up, groceries left on the counter, spoiled food in the fridge, or even spills that haven’t been cleaned up.

Whether this happens because your senior parent has lost the physical capacity to wipe up a juice spill off the kitchen floor, or they’ve simply stopped caring about how their home looks, if you notice a change in the cleanliness of their space, it’s time to have a conversation.

2 – Poor hygiene

Perhaps you start to notice mom hasn’t been keeping her hair cutting appointments anymore. Maybe dad hasn’t been shaving. Sometimes this is due to no longer taking pride in their appearance, and sometimes it’s more of a symptom of forgetfulness, or even losing the fine motor skills to apply makeup anymore, for example.

Of course, it’s not realistic to expect your aging parent to always look like they’ve stepped out of a catalog. But if you begin to notice personal hygiene and self care declining, it could be a sign that it’s time to consider having a conversation about how you can support them.

3 – Inadequate Nutrition

A concern we often hear at Benton House is whether elderly parents still living at home are getting the necessary nutrition. Maybe you notice they’re not keeping the right types of food in the kitchen anymore.

There could be several reasons for this, ranging from choosing more packaged food because they’ve lost interest in cooking to losing the cognitive awareness around what foods they need to stay healthy.

Good nutrition is crucial to maintain health during the aging process, and a top reason it may be time to consider talking to your parent about assisted living.

4 – Emergencies or accidents

Often the reason someone picks up the phone to call us here at Benton House is that mom or dad has had an emergency that has left the whole family shaken up. Sometimes a fall or other accident is a symptom of something that needs medical attention, but it can also be helpful to consider whether anything else could have contributed.

Is the house unkempt, which caused mom to trip over shoes in the middle of the floor? Perhaps having someone tidy up could help. Do you notice medications in disarray?

It may be time to find a way to ensure mom or dad is taking the medicine they need to feel their best. Whatever the reason, a fall or other medical situation can often mean it’s time to consider whether it could be time for assisted living, where you could trust your aging parent would feel more safe.

5 – Hiding the Truth

Are you getting the sense, or have you found out directly, that perhaps mom isn’t telling the truth? Sometimes pride can keep our aging parents from fully sharing their reality with us, for fear of judgment — or even that something may get taken away from them.

Whether they’ve fallen victim to elder fraud, their license is expired and they’re nervous they won’t pass the test, or they’re feeling depressed on a regular basis, there are many reasons mom or dad may hide the truth.

While it may be uncomfortable, attempting to have candid conversations with your elderly parents about how they’re really doing can go a long way in understanding whether there is a way you can support them.

6 – Depressed Mood

Keeping an eye on mom or dad’s overall mood is important. It doesn’t always mean it’s time for assisted living — there are many reasons it can be hard to keep spirits up as we age. Friends are no longer with us, we often can’t partake in hobbies we once loved, and even aches and pains can become a constant source of low mood.

While we can’t solve every problem, sometimes there are simple solutions that can bring your aging parent relief and a lighter spirit.

Helping mom or dad adjust to a new hobby that fits with their growing limitations as they age, for example, can go a long way. Sometimes, though, a sustained depressed mood can signal that it’s time to consider support from a professional.

7 – Not Exercising

Getting exercise is important at any age, and even more so as we get older. Exercise can support heart health, reduce cancer risk, improve daily task abilities, boost mood, and even enhance cognition for seniors.

If mom’s quit dressing herself well, for example, it could be because she’s become unsteady — and she could be unsteady because she is losing motor function, which exercise can keep at bay. One of the major positives of assisted living is having a community as well as facilities that make exercising both easy and enjoyable for seniors.

Is it time to consider assisted living for your aging parent?

If you’re noticing any of these signs in your aging parent, you may be considering assisted living. It makes sense, because most assisted living communities are designed to support seniors around each one of these points, from nutrition to personal hygiene.

But how do you talk with mom or dad about this potentially sensitive topic?

Approaching the subject successfully depends on the individual’s fear. Sometimes a senior doesn’t realize that assisted living is a lifestyle choice, not a nursing home.

For example, at Benton House we don’t ask residents to start yearly leases. Instead, living here is month to month, so it doesn’t feel permanent if they don’t want it to. It’s also easy to come for a short-term respite stay, which can be anywhere from a week up to 60 days, to see how this lifestyle works for them.

If you could use support navigating talking about assisted living with your aging parents, we’re always here to help.

Call us at 855-461-2552 or send us a message, anytime.

The post 7 Tell-Tale Signs It’s Time to Consider Assisted Living appeared first on Benton House.

Common Challenges During Holidays With Elderly Parents

The two most common challenges we see here at Benton House may seem in some ways to be opposite ends of the spectrum, but that’s not necessarily true. It’s natural for aging seniors to experience either loneliness from missing friends, or overstimulation from too many people, over the holidays – and it’s also not unusual for your elderly loved ones to experience both at the same time.

Let’s take a deeper look at both common experiences during the holidays with elderly parents, including what to look out for and how you can support your loved one to feel like they are an important part of seasonal celebrations, while still maintaining their sense of safety and comfort.

When Seniors Miss Friends and Traditions 

“I’m the only one left!” is a quip we often hear from seniors.

While it’s often said with humor, the reality is that there is a hard truth behind the joke. As we age, our circle of friends grows smaller. It’s painful to lose peers as you get older, and the holidays highlight this like no other time of year.

Seniors may experience loneliness during the winter season, triggered by missing their peers. It often surfaces most acutely during the holidays because of the loss of treasured traditions with friends who are no longer around.

So, what can you do?

First, look out for signs of listlessness, withdrawal, or even depression:

• Have mom’s grooming habits changed?
• Is dad sleeping more than usual?
• Is mom still getting out and walking every day? (Or another activity she usually enjoys.)

Consider how you may be able to offer support:

Perhaps mom has lost a dear friend she used to always go holiday shopping with to mark the season. Though of course you can’t replace that friendship, offering to take mom to the department stores can help both get her mind off missing her friend, and also restore some of the tradition she loved.

Maybe dad used to play a celebratory golf game with friends who are no longer with us. Is there a grandchild or someone in the family who enjoys the sport and could revive the tradition in a new way?

If your parents used to go to a certain church service together, can the kids and grandkids rally to keep up the annual tradition, even though dad is no longer around?

When Seniors Feel Overstimulated From Holiday Activities

One of the challenges of holidays with elderly parents is that some seniors, particularly those who experience dementia, may feel overstimulated from holiday hustle and bustle.

Often at Benton House we see children come to pick up their parents for a specific holiday celebration, and discover that mom or dad has decided they don’t want to attend. This can be painful to receive, and hard to understand, but holidays can be overly stimulating for some seniors.

They’re comfortable in their familiar environment and routines, and experiencing dementia can often mean large groups feel too stimulating and confusing.

So, what can you do?

First, try to understand where your loved one may be coming from, and remember that whatever they’re experiencing is valid, and not personal to you.

If you’re noticing unexpected resistance by mom or dad about joining in on holiday festivities, take a moment to empathize and see if you can find a solution that will work for everyone.

Consider how you may be able to offer support:

Try to meet them where they are by considering some alternative approaches, whether your loved one lives in an assisted living home or in their own home:

• If your loved one experiences dementia, can you bring one or two grandchildren along to visit at a time to reduce overwhelm and create a calmer environment for a special visit?
• If your loved one doesn’t have dementia, or is open to leaving their familiar space anyway, can you pick them up and bring them over to a small gathering of just a few family members, versus a 30-person holiday evening?

Meet Your Loved One Where They Are

Whatever your elderly parents are experiencing this time of year, our best tip is to be gentle, understanding, and direct where possible. We want mom and dad to feel like they’re a vital part of the holiday season, while still being sensitive to their evolving needs.

Our last tip for enjoying the holidays with elderly parents is to simply ask mom or dad what’s important to them to do over this season. You might be surprised to learn what they would enjoy most.

If you could use support navigating the holidays this season with your aging parents, we’re always here to talk.

Call us at 855-461-2552 or send us a message, anytime.

The post Enjoying The Holidays With Elderly Parents: Balancing Celebration and Support appeared first on Benton House.

In fact, it’s rare for us to talk to a caregiver of an elderly parent who isn’t overwhelmed. There’s a lot to juggle between keeping your loved one safe and healthy while attending to your personal needs (please do!).

Take it from us, it’s normal to feel swamped when it comes to senior caretaking responsibilities.

And while we (unfortunately) can’t take away the emotional weight of experiencing a loved one struggling in this way, we can offer the following bird’s eye view of what it’s important to pay attention to.

For each of the top four concerns we address, you’ll also find actionable tips to help, plus an interactive quiz for you to get a clear picture of your unique situation.

Let’s dive in.

Taking Medications Properly

The Challenge:

Over half of seniors today in the US aren’t taking their medications correctly. In fact, 15% of all senior hospitalizations are related to medication errors. Because seniors take a lot of medications, for a variety of ailments, in a variety of different ways, they’re at special risk for mediation concerns. And when you’re managing memory loss specifically, helping your loved one take their medications correctly becomes even more challenging. There’s good news though: a tailored medication system can work wonders.

Try this:

If you help take care of a senior who lives at home and needs memory care support, we recommend creating a comprehensive list that includes:

– Over the counter and prescribed medications

– Vitamins and supplements

– All doses and times

– And potential side-effects and emergency numbers

Most importantly, make sure you have a good way to ensure medications are being taken as prescribed. Of course, even with the best system, life happens. But paying close attention to just this one area can reduce the hospitalization risk in a huge way. Take this short quiz to help you get clear on your current medication needs, and whether there are ways you could use support.

Medication Needs Quiz

Health and Fitness

The Reality:

75% of seniors don’t get enough physical activity to maintain physical fitness levels, much less improve physical fitness. Many of us could use improvement in this area, but poor fitness creates special added risks in seniors. And beyond reducing risk, exercise carries countless benefits for seniors experiencing memory loss, like supporting heart health, reducing cancer risk, improving daily task abilities (like dressing and cooking), boosting mood, and even enhancing cognition. If you’re a caregiver, it’s important to be sensitive to the subtle changes that come with decreasing fitness. Beyond the more straightforward mobility and energy levels, keep an eye out for less obvious indicators of reduced fitness, too. For example, you might also notice changes in how they’re keeping up their home and yard, reduced interest in personal hygiene, or even mood changes.

Try this:

The bright spot is that even a little activity can majorly boost fitness for seniors. The CDC recommends seniors spend 150 minutes a week of light to moderate exercise, which translates into just over 20 minutes a day. If 20 minutes is too long for your loved one to sustain, try breaking it into smaller increments. Think short walks, short senior exercise programs on YouTube, or even tasks that require movement to complete. A little effort can bring big improvements. Take this short quiz to help you get clear on how well your loved one’s current fitness plan is going, and whether there are ways you could use support.

Fitness Quiz

Nutrition

The Reality:

These numbers may surprise you:

• 50% of seniors lack proper nutrition
• 30% skip at least one meal per day
• 16% consume less than 1,000 calories a day, which is not enough calories to maintain proper nutrition.

Why is poor nutrition so common for seniors?

• Lack of transportation to shopping and dining
• Inadequate supplies
• The hassles of cooking for one
• Appetite loss due to health conditions or medications effects
• Even the loneliness of eating alone can all contribute to poor nutrition

However, like encouraging fitness, you can have a tremendous impact on nutrition for your loved one. Particularly when you’re managing memory loss, a little creative planning can greatly improve nutrition.

Try this:

• Create a standard shopping list with regular needs and favorites.
• Find healthy meals to cook in advance that can be reheated.
• Get in a routine meal-prepping snacks to make them easily available.
• Schedule opportunities for social meals.
• Don’t forget hydration! Dehydration is a concern for seniors, and symptoms can look like a variety of other illnesses.

Take this short quiz to help you get clear on how well your loved one’s current nutrition plan is going, and whether there are ways you could use support.

Nutrition Needs Quiz

Loneliness

The Reality:

Last on our list, but perhaps most important: isolation, which is one of the saddest challenges seniors face is isolation. 10 million seniors live alone today. And far too many have lost all social connection or the opportunity to contribute and feel valued. Factors that contribute to isolation include:

• • The passing of spouses, relatives and friends
  • Retirement and feelings of lack of purpose
  • Health issues that decrease mobility or cause pain
  • And the loss of the ability to drive

And isolation impacts much more than just overall happiness: it’s been found to cause or increase the severity of many diseases, including high blood pressure, chronic pain, and depression. But it isn’t inevitable. Loneliness is NOT an automatic part of the aging process. If you’re worried your loved one is spending too much time alone, there are a variety of resources.

Try this:

• Consider helping your loved one find volunteer opportunities that align with their interests and feel meaningful to them.
• Find a nearby senior center, which often has wonderful adult day care options.
• Support your loved one in keeping in touch with friends from church, the gym, or long-time friend groups to help maintain any social connections they already have.

Take this short quiz to help you get clear on how much your loved one may be experiencing social isolation plan, and whether there are ways you could use support.

Social Isolation Quiz

Use our caregiver tools for support with the top four challenges when helping an aging parent manage memory loss

Did any of these tips for managing memory loss at home resonate? Of course, we all know there are other challenges that come with aging, but by focusing on these top four most crucial areas, you can often reduce problems that pop up in other areas.

Next Steps

Need more tailored advice or have a specific worry? Let us help. Call or send us a message to get your caregiving at home questions answered!

The post Managing Memory Loss In Seniors At Home? Try this. appeared first on Benton House.